Gender Dysphoria in the News
It
seems you can’t turn on the news today and not see a headline about
transgenderism. It’s not something I
would likely preach on, but I realize that sometimes there is some small wisdom
in your pastor speaking to the events in the news. So, let me wade into these
uncertain waters and see if I can help with this discussion. And, yeah, this is
long.
But
first, let me start with a little background story. A few years ago a man who
was an elder on our Session (and a friend) walked into my office with his wife
and said we needed to talk (we pastors know that’s almost always bad news). He told
me that most all his life that he knew inside he was really a woman and that he
had finally made the decision to transition into presenting as a woman and had
legally changed his gender status with the state.
It
goes without saying that of all the things I had prepared to help people in my
congregation deal with, this was probably last on the list. I was shell-shocked
and can’t even really remember what I told him and his deeply conflicted wife.
So
I dove into as much literature on the subject as was available for a layman to
read. I called and talked to the one Christian professor who has any expertise
at all in this area. I’ve kept up with the news. So, while I’m far from an
expert, I have read more and thought more about this than most people. So let
me launch into a collection of thoughts and observations.
First,
and perhaps most important, the people who are dealing with “gender dysphoria”
(that is what it’s technically called) are for the most part a bunch of people
who are deeply hurting and struggle greatly with life. I don’t believe any of
them ask for this and, regardless of how other elements play out, they – and
their families – need our compassion. They face a deep inner conflict and most
live very unhappy lives.
Second,
you need to be aware that there is a spectrum of behaviors that look related,
but may not be. Cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites, female
impersonators are often responding to very different internal feeling from those
who are gender dysphoric. They should not be lumped together. Nor are the
gender dysphoric generally born with elements of two physical sexual identities
Third,
in spite of the certainty that seems to be connected to current pronouncements
and policies, we actually know very little about gender dysphoria. Even the
people who deal with it on a regular basis admit that most of it is a great
mystery. So don’t be fooled by people who are now speaking about it with great
certainty, we barely understand it.
Fourth,
we’re not talking about very many people on a percentage basis. Here is where
our lack of knowledge really plays out, because the estimates of how many
people are experiencing this vary widely. On the high side, some estimate that
about .003 of the population is gender dysphoric. A more standard estimate has
been 1 in 30,000; or .00003. The real number is probably somewhere in the
middle, but it’s not many people we’re talking about.
Now,
let me shift into what is more opinion….
1.
When you stand back and look at the issue, how we have suddenly approached the
issue seems silly. For a person whose DNA and body is one gender to suddenly
and instantly be considered to be the opposite sex simply by saying they are
kind of defies logic. Even those who go through the difficult and arduous
physical transformations don’t actually change their biological genders; they
merely change their bodies’ appearance. To consider Bruce Jenner a woman
(indeed, a “woman of the year”) simply because he wears a dress, heavy makeup,
a wig, and say he is a woman is a strange idea.
There
are also people who see themselves as “gender fluid”, who may feel they are
more male or female at various times, in spite of their DNA. The truth is, there
is more to gender than feelings.
We
read in the very beginning of the Bible: Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in
his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created
them.”
Gender
and gender differences are an integral part of the created order. Yes, too
often societies have used gender differences to oppress women. But to imagine a
society where we treat the world as ‘genderless’ is a triumph of political
correctness over created order and common sense.
That
said, there is no reason why we cannot come to some simple, reasonable, and polite
accommodations for those who wish to consider and present themselves as another
gender. But, they should not expect everyone else to change their view of
common sense reality and normal public accommodation to fit their unusual
perspective. There ought to be some reasonable middle ground.
2.
It seems that, in spite of all the emotional news stories we see about the six
year old boy who knows he’s a girl, it actually seems that the very best thing
we can do for children with gender dysphoria is to encourage them to wait until
after high school to act on any change in their appearance or bodies.
Dr. Eric Vilain is a professor of human
genetics and pediatrics at UCLA and director of the Center for Gender-Based
Biology. His article “What
should you do if your son says he’s a girl?” is well worth a read if you want
an educated, research driven opinion; (http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-vilain-transgender-parents-20150521-story.html ). In it, he writes:
“Gender
dysphoric children have not usually become transgender adults. For example, the
large majority of gender dysphoric boys studied so far have become young men content
to remain male. More than 80 percent adjusted by adolescence.”
Another study notes :
“Only 6 to 23 percent of boys and 12 to 27 percent of girls treated in gender clinics showed persistence of their gender dysphoria into adulthood.” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2697020/#!po=45.0000 )
To put it more simply: if a child says they believe they are really the opposite sex inside, give then a good deal of home acceptance, be sure they have psychological support, tell them they need to wait until after high school to begin to take action on it. In these cases, less than 20% will feel the same way by the end of high school.
“Only 6 to 23 percent of boys and 12 to 27 percent of girls treated in gender clinics showed persistence of their gender dysphoria into adulthood.” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2697020/#!po=45.0000 )
To put it more simply: if a child says they believe they are really the opposite sex inside, give then a good deal of home acceptance, be sure they have psychological support, tell them they need to wait until after high school to begin to take action on it. In these cases, less than 20% will feel the same way by the end of high school.
Imagine the kids who will now will
be allowed to ‘transition’ their apparent gender in grade school, taking drugs,
possibly undergoing surgeries, who might find that at 18 years old they don’t
feel the same way. Dr. Villand ends his article:
“…(lumping) together all therapies, regardless of their
motivation, target age and method. Banning all therapists from helping families
trying to alleviate children's gender dysphoria would be premature, a
triumph of ideology over science.
The president can set a better example by pausing at the limits
of our knowledge and encouraging scientists to collect the data we need. Until
we have it, let’s be careful about telling the well-meaning parents of gender
dysphoric children what to do.”
3. I think that most of the positions I read on the
whole transgendered bathroom issue are simply too simple and make sweeping
changes to address a very small need. Remember, there are very few gender
dysphoric people.
I accept that most people with gender dysphoria who
are presenting as the opposite sex are not sexual perverts with want to
infiltrate a bathroom for some nefarious purpose. They just want to pee. As
such, asking a biological man who dresses and looks very much like a women to
walk into the men’s room is asking for all sorts of problems.
That said, opening up all restrooms or
locker/changing rooms to anyone of any gender (and make no mistake, this is what these
rules do) creates all sorts of problems as other will take advantage of this.
Read the comments of this woman who is a survivor of sexual abuse to get a
perspective you don’t hear in the news: http://thefederalist.com/2015/11/23/a-rape-survivor-speaks-out-about-transgender-bathrooms/.
Even in schools, it became obvious that in one
middle school a biological boy (who is still fully anatomically male) would be
allowed to use the girl’s locker room for gym class. This would allow for the
circumstances where twelve years old girls could find themselves showering in
the same shower room with a biological male. I just can’t imagine how anyone
could think this was OK.
Honestly, schools and workplaces have been making quiet,
sensitive, and reasonable accommodations for gender dysphoric people for many
years and I actually think this sudden attention will tend to make things worse
for many of them.
It’s not hard to ask most schools and businesses to
make single person bathrooms (like the bathroom in every Starbucks I've ever been in) or changing rooms available and to ask gender
dysphoric people to use them. Most schools and businesses have them available
already. That’s a reasonable accommodation on both sides.
If the federal guideline was that there should be single
person unisex bathrooms available for any students to use, as needed, I think
we would not be having this divisive debate. But again, much of this is simply
politics over practicality. One group trying to force others to adopt their new
worldview of gender and sexuality, brushing aside any unintended consequences
as unimportant.
I hope that we can avoid both extremes in this
complicated and poorly understood issue. I do know that in our increasingly
non-Christian culture that anyone who opposes the new fluid gender mantra will
be branded as ignorant and “haters”. We need to be thoughtful and caring, but
not fold under pressure.
Perhaps one day we’ll have a better understanding
of why someone is fully and completely biologically male or female, but feels
their body and their mind don’t agree. Until then, let’s not let ideology get
ahead of understanding and lead us to make decisions with unintended negative
consequences. Let’s be compassionate, but also practical. And let us not assume
that the way God made us doesn’t matter.
Pastor Al Sandalow
Ellensburg Presbyterian
